SUICIDE

Every day we make choices in our life. Choices big or small, important or unimportant, we are faced with these choices every minute of our waking hours. When we choose one thing, we are usually giving up something else. We are usually quite good at making these daily choices because we learn from our past mistakes and hopefully are surrounded by people who love us unconditionally. We know that we all make mistakes and are not by any means perfect! Today will bring us a number of occasions to help each other or to hurt one another. It will be our choice to make. A simple word can help a person to gain the strength needed to get out of a difficult situation where hope is lost or can be the frightening discouragement that will be a deciding factor of suicide due to shame, fear, and lack of hope. Fear wears many faces in life. If we fear work, we are lazy, if we fear future disgrace it is shamefacedness, if we fear present disgrace it is shame. We have these emotions of fear because we may feel that we are unable to cope with our lives, we feel paralyzed or powerless to the outcome of the situations, and that fear may prevent us from acting for our own good. Where there is fear there will also be anger and we need to remember that anger is a mixed passion. Anger will always seek vengeance for some damage that has been done, it implies a comparison between the damages done and the vengeance sought. When a person feels these emotions and is living through a difficult situation where he or she feels hopeless and ashamed the split second decision might be to just end it all and leave it behind; suicide. Our fast paced days and nights cause so much stress and feelings of being overwhelmed by competition, peer pressures, being accepted, and achieving both our own goals and goals that are put on us by society and our loved ones. If I were to fail to live up to these goals, pressures, and everyday competitions I might have self doubts about whom I am or what I was doing, but if I were antagonized, bullied, or made fun of, it could push me over that edge to the thoughts of “who cares” or “screw it, they are just going to make fun of me!” There are times in everyone’s lives where we are challenged and feel weak, no matter how strong we may be! I know that in my own life I have had many difficult choices to make but I am blessed to surrounded by loving and caring people who love me for whom I am and not what I achieve. We need to try to be there for everyone in our lives, we need to visit more often, and to take the time to ask how they are doing, but, more importantly is to actually listen to the answers! We need to stop judging one another and leave that up to God! Every day there are hundreds of suicides, suicides that could have been avoided if someone took the time to look into that kids eye or hold that senior citizens hand, or given a simple hug! Why is it that we find it so hard to show love but, so easy to laugh when we see someone hit their funny bone or slip on the wet grass or a banana peel? I just read a scary statistic that one in four of every gay or lesbian teenager has thought about suicide at least a dozen times! One in eight elderly persons in an assisted living home has thought or even asked for help in assisting in their own suicides! There are many difficulties in our lives, many chances for failure, and many evils that may work against our own greater good. The key is to help one another to achieve, to feel loved, and to be accepted. We must stop the hatred and the bullying that create a feeling of despair. If you see someone who looks sad or lonely take a moment to cheer them up, even if you walk away thinking that you didn’t help; trust me. You did! Learn to accept each others differences and love that we are so unique because, this is what makes’ it such a great world to live in. When someone feels so depressed that they forget what a great world it is, show them with Love and a few kind words. Always know that your efforts can and will help if you let it! If you suspect someone is suicidal take the time to talk to him or her, seek out the proper help needed, and show that you truly care. If you are feeling depressed or suicidal take that first step to get help, know that you are unique and that no one else is exactly like you, and that you are loved! Suicide is never the answer, what may seem unbearable today will pass, even though it may not seem so today! There will be many challenges and obstacles in life but you are so much stronger than they are, you are worth every minute of effort and you are filled with the beauty and strength of God and always remember that you are here for a reason. It is not important to know what that reason is as none of us actually know the answer to that, but what is important is that you know that we are all connected through love and together we can become stronger and happier! Together we can get through the tough times and start to enjoy the good times again. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture the best time of your life. Try to feel and smell the air that was there at that time, listen to what is surrounding you. Now open your eyes and take a second look at what is surrounding you and give it a chance, notice the smells, the air, and the sounds. Just know that there is much more good than bad and you really are a great person who has so much love to offer!

Charity

Language is a funny thing. We can have a room filled with five people and the same word may have a different meaning to each of us! When you hear the word charity, what is it that you think of? Did you think of an organization, the fireman standing on the road with a boot, or did you think of your daily life? Charity is helping each other in our lives selflessly, it means in some form we will sacrifice because we love unconditionally. A person of charity is patient in many circumstances which would arouse others to be angry or disgusted. We need to refuse to become impatient with others, even when they have wronged us! Revenge and anger are not signs of strength but, are signs of insecurity and weakness. Kindness brings confidence and encouragement to those who are afraid. Others will never hesitate to ask for help because they will know that a person who is kind will not willingly refuse. Someone who is charitable never envies those who have more earthly goods, more success, or even more talents. He is more content with the love that he possesses. A charitable person will always be considerate and fair in every aspect of his or her life, because he or she is not over-eager for personal gain or appearing to be better than anyone else. One whose heart is filled with charity refuses to judge others rashly. Instead, prefers to believe in the good of others, even when wronged. I have learned this valuable lesson in the past few days, as I was name called by a loved one who judged me without asking about the particular circumstances. The virtue of charity makes us so honest that we can admit the truth, even when it points out our limitations and defects. It is a challenge in our daily lives to try to live with unconditional love but when we are wronged the offense is painful, but not as bad as the harm done to ones self. I have learned that when we are wronged by others it is only temporary but, when we are bitter and hold grudges we are only causing ourselves to be in that very same prison that the one who wronged us is in. Letting go of any bitter thoughts of revenge, settling the score, or anger will free ourselves from that dirty prison cell that is offered by the confused person who wronged us and in turn will help us to feel much better. Charity makes us humble enough to face all facts, even disagreeable ones.

Life In A Week: What Is Spirituality?

I am very happy to let my friends know that the second book of the series will be available online by the end of this week! We will also be available at most of your favorite bookstores, libraries, and anywhere books are sold! Just go in and ask for it! I will post the link as soon as I get it, subscribe now (if you haven't already) so that you will get an email when I post it! This is a great book that is short and packed with some "deep" inspirational messages. Until next time, have a great day!

Bullies! Why?

I was just at one of my friends’ blogs reading her story about 'bullies' and could not help but get a little angry! She wrote about the bullies in school and how it affects the kid getting bullied. It brought back fond memories from my school days. I was lucky to have a few older brothers who were much bigger than me, so I didn't have a problem with getting bullied, plus I like to think that I was just so easy going that no one wanted to bother me (no, I think it was my brothers). I remember sticking up and even getting into fights trying to help classmates who were getting bullied. My Dad always used to say that "if someone is picking on you they are just jealous” and it stuck with me! I truly believe that we treat others how we feel about ourselves. As kids (and even as adults) if we feel insecure or afraid we will lash out on others whom we feel are weaker! This is a sad thought, but one that we all must think about. We need to teach kids about love, respect, and friendship by showing it in our actions, teaching it in daily habits, and helping others who may be different from us. I never really cared about being “cool” or “popular” because I was lucky enough to have parents who taught me that quality doesn’t come in quantity! We are blessed to have a few true friends in this life, we are lucky to have the opportunity to teach by example, and we are required to treat each other with respect! It is our duty to be vigilant when it comes to stopping useless bullying that will scar for a lifetime. The best way to stop this behavior is to sit down and talk to kids about this issue before it becomes a problem. We must remember that we all strive for attention from one another, most times if we don’t get it we will act up in order to get attention, because bad attention is better than no attention at all (or so we think). Think about how many times while growing up that we would not bother our Moms for hours on end, BUT once she answered the phone we would start screaming or asking her questions while she was trying to have a conversation with someone on the other end; this was to get her attention because all of a sudden it wasn’t focused on us! There are to many suicides, drug addictions, alcohol abuses, and depressed people in our own towns, let alone the world that happens because of low self esteem, feeling alone, or even unacceptable. We can all make a difference just by teaching more compassion to everyone who is around us and even complementing someone when they go the extra mile for someone who may have needed that extra smile or helping hand. Try to make it a habit to focus on the good and don’t assume that your kids, family, or friends know that you love them unconditionally; remind them with a few extra hugs, a smile, and maybe even say it! “I Love You!”

"Work" (from Life In A Week - A book about being really happy!)

We all have to work, so we should make the best of it! I took the following from my first book about being really happy: The one thing that most of us have in common is that we all must work for a living. We spend a considerable amount of time at work and really need to remember not to let work take over our lives. We need to balance work and home life; this gets even more important as we get older. I’ve seen so many people devote their entire lives to their careers only to die within weeks of their retirement. The reason for that scenario could be that they put all their effort into work and forgot how to live. The only thing they focused on was their job, and they forgot how to enjoy the wonderful day without stress. I admit that I love all the challenges at work. I even love the pressure of the day at work. I sometimes need to remind myself that work doesn’t make my life important; I make work important. We sometimes think that what we do for a living or how much power we have at work decides how important we are, but this is the furthest thing from the truth. I was out to dinner the other night and was waiting for my Shirley Temple to come out when I overheard the manager screaming at my waiter that she doesn’t care what the customer wanted and that she was in charge, not the customer. I thought, “Wow! Doesn’t she know that the customers are the ones making it possible to have the work? All I was asking for was an extra cherry in my drink!” We sometimes need to be reminded that it really is how we do our work and how we treat others that is important. If we move up the ladder in the jobs we are in, we need to remember that for every step up, we will need to come back down; it’s the power of gravity. We need to find joy in our work even if it is not the choice of work that we would really like to be doing. The saying “fake it ’til you make it” is a favorite of mine because I think it is funny that we have already made it; we just might not know it. Every day that we wake up and are able to go out and earn a living and help people on the way is an exceptional day. It doesn’t matter what you are doing; you can always help someone while making a living and making money. It’s all in the way you look at it. You might ask, “Well, how is the meter maid helping anyone?” Every ticket given out is helping with the economy by helping to pay for the pavement on the streets. The guys who pave the streets are able to work. If the streets don’t have potholes, then there may be one less motorcycle accident, saving someone from getting hurt or killed. It works as a chain reaction, just like everything. Every action really does create a reaction. The bottom line is to do your job the best you can and be grateful that you are able to work. Always remember that work is an important part of our lives, and we should take pride in it, but we need to take pride in our rest, too. We are not machines, and when we take time to relax, we will end up doing a better, more efficient job in the long run. We can’t make our jobs or careers our only priority because we forget to slow down and enjoy the here and now when we do that. Money will buy luxuries but not true love. Love is bought with kind hearts, by being true to ourselves and others, by simply caring. It is key is to have patience with our coworkers and to try to help each other achieve, not compete. I have worked in many fields and found that the most successful business owners and managers were the ones who taught the employees everything that they knew, in the hopes that they would become a better employee. I have also seen the opposite, where the business owner or manager was nervous to instruct to the employees to do anything more than what was needed, out of fear that they might possibly take over his or her position or take that knowledge to the competition. That fear stalls the progress of the company and slows the ambition of the learning employee. Unnecessary fear in the workplace is a waste of energy. I think of work as a relationship. If you try to better each other and grow, you will prosper. If you treat each other with respect, that loyalty will inevitably grow. If you work smart and hard and have good work ethics, then you should be compensated for your efforts. If you have a lousy paying job and do something that you hate, then you should look inside of yourself honestly and evaluate why you are in such a situation. You should also decide to make the small changes in your daily life that are needed, but whatever you do, please don’t blame everyone else. There will always be people who will not be helpful in trying to see you succeed, but don’t let that discourage you because they are nervous about their own shortcomings. Watch and learn from the people who are happy to be at work, the people who are successful because they know how to do it. Keep going, and nothing will be able to stop you. People are judged by the company they keep, and I have always felt that a company should be judged by how they treat the employees. If everyone is rewarded for the quality of work that is done, then the company will be successful. If the company leaders are honest and caring, then the rest of the company will follow suit. If the company leaders are shallow and cheat, then why wouldn’t those traits trickle down to everyone else? This is true with every aspect of life. We lead by example not by words alone. We all need to remember that we are a team and that a team will win when its members work together and help each other along the way. Competition is healthy and beneficial, but only when individuals help others to win, too. Thanks for reading part of my first book (published in 2009)and available via links on my website or anywhere books are sold. The second book (Life In A Week - What Is Spirituality?) is in the process of being published and will be available within the next few weeks. Be sure to sign up to the RSS subscription on my site to get instant emails when I post; so you can be the first to get it directly from the publisher! "Read it and share it"

Check out my funny little cartoons by clicking on the link! (I have so much fun with these)

SCAMS AND CON ARTISTS!

What's your real "problem?"

The best way to help others is to just be yourself and always listen to others who are around you. I have met so many people in the past few days who have many stories and many different pasts. When we listen to the people around us, we can learn so many things about ourselves,and save ourselves a lot of headaches of having to go through those very same mistakes or trials. I was talking to someone who told me that he was going through one of the most challenging times of his life a few years ago, but when he took a few moments every night to listen to his inner self, he found the answers he so badly needed. He told me that when he finally learned to ask for help from his "inner guides" he realized that most of his "problems" were actually symtoms of a much deeper issue. His mind was just keeping him distracted so he wouldn't think about what the real problem was...just something to think about.

I just read a book that I loved!

"You're Not Going Crazy...You're Just Waking Up" by Michael Mirdad I would love to let you know about a short book that is packed with insights and simple life changing information. Michael Mirdad writes as if he were in a conversation with the reader and doesn't add filler just to make it a longer book. I am really glad that I read this book and opened my mind to the five stages of spirituality. I have read hundreds of spiritual books but, found 'You're Not Going Crazy...You're Just Waking Up' to be one of the few that I would read again and again! Check out this great book at www.GrailProductions.com

My Interview!

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who watched my interview on Good Morning Connecticut - Weekend Edition! I had a great time and met a wonderful crew at WTNH Channel 8, they are the most welcoming crew I have ever met. I will post the video when I get it downloaded.

Patience

One of the most important things to remember is to have patience with everyone who surrounds you. Patience is one of the key factors to living a peaceful and loving life that is rewarding. We will be the happiest when we try to understand our differences and learn from each other. It is best when we look at the world as children see the world, with a clear vision of hope, faith, charity, love and laughter, they are angels sent to us, to remind us not to hold back on loving, which is living! It isn’t important whether or not we say all the right things, color the best pictures, or write the best letter but, what is important is the time that we give. Spend a few extra moments to show your loved ones that you care and that you are there for them. Listen to your inner voice more and trust in yourself, so that you can pass that trust onto others.

Anger

Anger seeks vengeance for damages that have been done, it is a comparison between the damage done and the vengeance sought. Anger deals with the questions of justice. We are angry when we think an injustice has been done to us or our loved ones, and, in that anger, we seek revenge on the evildoer. Anger often produces pleasure. We are pleased when we "get even" or "settle the score." We are energetic in the pursuit of justice. But, anger can destroy the reasonableness of our actions, we sometimes might exact a greater vengeance than the injury done to us. We need to remember to never stoop to the evildoers level, not to let anger control our actions, and know that justice will be done. Keep our Love of Good, of the real good, and keep that as our motives in our activities.

LAUGHING! IT IS THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE UNDERSTOOD BY EVERYONE...

Laughter is the purest form of energy known to all humans. Laughter is one of the most contagious energies that we are born with. Studies show that people who laugh everyday will live a longer and happier life. Laughter is an unconscious vocalization which means that when we laugh it comes from our inner emotions, we do not control it. When we subconsciously do anything it is second nature, which means that it is from within. There are studies from all over the world that all agree on two major facts, and those facts are that laughter will eliminate physical pain, increase our blood flow by helping our blood vessels stay healthier, and in turn helping us to stay healthy and alive. When I am having a challenging day I open a comic book and read it for a few minutes or turn on a funny movie to have a few laughs and to just get away from the challenges of the moment. One of the best ways to get back into a good mood is to take a walk with nature, whether it be in the park, a quick hike, a bike ride through the city, or a stroll on the beach. Nature is the best way for us to relax and get back to the natural state of mind which is happy. I have never met a three year old kid who was miserable, snobby, or constantly angry, these are un-natural emotions that we are taught and may be shortening our lives . When we were babies we would cry if we wanted a bottle or wanted to be held because we didn’t have any other way to communicate and crying is natural and healthy like laughing, having a challenging day, being stressed, or angry are not.

Being Classy!

I met a woman in Manhattan last night at a lounge who actually teaches a class to entry level business positions to act classy. She told me that you need to “fake it til you make it and that being classy has everything to do with our talk and not actions.” She said that a successful business person needs to appear stronger and more confident than their co-workers and that the co-workers occasionally need to be reminded that you are better than them! I felt like running from this woman but I kept listening because she was so sincere in her speech. She continued on to tell me that I should get into a habit of telling every third guest who comes into my home to please wipe their shoes on the mat because this will bring the guest and anyone who hears you to know that you are in charge! This is when I politely walked away from her and did end up running from her. That type of training is truly non-sense, made up power and illusions of wealth don’t make you classy. Our actions will always speak louder than our words when we make everyone around us feel more comfortable because we truly care. We will be much classier because we know that we are all going to be better off when we treat each other with the respect we all need and deserve.

Flaws

No person is perfect, we all have flaws and when we point out other people’s flaws we are just distracting ourselves from our own. I have found jealousy will always turn into hate and low self-esteem often causes’ us to notice flaws and to gossip about others in order to boost our feelings about ourselves. When you are around someone who is gossiping it is always best to remain silent and not even nod your head in agreement because this will only encourage the behavior. I try to remember that the criticisms speak more about the person telling them than the victim who is not even present to defend themselves. A wise man once told me that there is good and bad in everyone and to just try to illuminate the good. This may not be easy at times and it may take practice but it is a habit worth every minute of its effort

Learning from Anger

We all have been deceived by peoples mean spirited motives and feel used. We may even feel like getting even or settling the score, but let me tell you from experience, it is never worth it. We should not attempt to stoop to the mean spirited persons’ level to feel a few minutes of satisfaction because we will always have to live with our actions. I have learned at a really young age is that the only person who is always going to be there with me at all times is me, but I want to be able to lay my head down on my pillow at night knowing that I did well that day. We learn a lot about ourselves and others when we are under pressure, filled with stress, and in heated situations. We learn that we may have a temper, we may get scared, we may become defensive, or we may overcome that stress from the strength we have from within, from our inner love and the love we have for others. We are all connected by that love and anger will only make the situation more difficult.