Listen more and chatter less!

I have been doing a lot of writing lately about everyday situations and how I cope with some of the challenging moments. I learned at a really young age to not let others attitudes change our own unless it is for the better. I was talking with a person about a month ago whom told me that his life is so hard, he hates his job, he doesn’t get along with his wife, his kids don’t listen to him (no matter how loud he yells) and that he is about to lose his apartment because the rent was raised by 30 percent by his landlord! I felt his anger over all of the bad things that were happening to him and I suggested that he take a step back and look at his situation from another persons’ point of view. Sometimes when we are in the situation we are to close to it to see the obvious solutions, it is really that simple. When I screw up on an invoice or a quote at work my boss will come into my office and show me what I did, I will initially feel annoyed because I cannot believe I screwed up on something that I have done a million and one times before. His advice to me was so simple the other day, yet so true “when you are exhausted from a long day, stop what you are doing and just pick it up the following day!” When we try to do everything all at once we are bound to make mistakes, we are human. So, when I told this man to step back and look at what was really going on, he too saw what I was seeing. Instead of condemning people for what they do, let’s try to understand the reasons why they do what they do. If you have a kid who is being a terror why would that kid behave better when he is being screamed at? We need to step back and see what it is that this kid is looking for, I would bet you a large coffee that he only wants your attention! I try to always remember that most people would rather have bad attention over no attention at all, ignoring others wants and needs and putting our own first is a selfish act but, striving to help others first is being a loving person. You will get much more satisfaction in life when you put others needs in front of your own, try to see the other persons point of view from a distance and start listening more than you talk. Another bad habit that we all have at times is that we love to hear ourselves talk! I will tell you that I have been watching everything I say in the past few months and I listen more than I talk now and have solved many issues in my own life by doing so. If you listen to what your friends and family has to say, you will learn so much more about them. If you chatter nonstop you are only babbling and people won’t listen to you as much. Take the time to listen to everyone around you, be truly sincere in your listening and life gets much easier. Ask questions and seek the answers. I received an email from my friend we were speaking about earlier and he started to listen to his boss, his wife, and his kids more intently. He started to take a breather before he would get defensive and genuinely started to listen to what they were saying! Within the first two weeks of trying to break his habit of “talking over” everyone and “yelling” about what is going wrong in his life, he started to see the changes immediately. He told his wife and his boss that he was trying to “lose his angry temper” and is working on becoming a better husband, father, and co-worker. His wife immediately saw the difference in the kids. They actually looked forward to their father returning home from a hard day at work and spending a little time playing with them without the yelling. His boss noticed he was coming into work with a smile and his productivity has increased tenfold, so he gave him a much needed raise of 20% and is paying for night classes to get him to become a supervisor with a life changing career within the company. The raise will pay for the increase in the rent and be able to pay off debt within two years. His story can be common if we have the right attitude toward both ourselves and everyone who surrounds us. We create our situations in life and we can change those situations in a very short time if we put in a genuine effort to do the right thing for the right reasons. We just need to think of all the good that surrounds us and brush off the negative emotions that arise in situations in our lives, start thinking outside of the box and seeing our own situations from outside of that very same box as-well. Bottom line here is to listen more and chatter less!