My newest xtranormal commercial! ARGUMENTS...

Give-Away Contest for "Dare to Be Yourself" by Alan Cohen!

This weeks Give-Away Contest is for one of my favorite self help books, it is the book that actually got me started on my writing career. It is "Dare to Be Yourself" by Alan Cohen (an amazing writer). All you need to do to join is sign up for the "Weekly Ezine" on http://www.lifeinaweek.com/ (top left hand corner) and send me an email that you would like to be placed in the drawing hat! Click on the link here to read all about it -      http://home.ezezine.com/3043/3043-2011.02.20.23.07.archive.html I hope to see your name in the hat!!
Have a really fun week everyone.

Relationships are tricky!

<>Relationships are always tricky. Good relationships don't happen by accident and must be consciously built, you will always have to take into consideration the person at the other end of the relationship. To start with, some people are not going to interpret your personality as you see it. You are going to have to be sensitive enough to determine who these people are, and then you must build a good relationship with them on an individual basis. It is not easy to change a cool relationship to a warm one, yet you cannot afford to allow it to remain in an unhealthy state. You should take some extra effort to build it into a stronger relationship. To build a stronger relationship, remember that she (or he) sees you differently than anyone else or how you might even see yourself! A really good friend of mine told me that "it isn't all about you" and that is so true when building life long relationships... (Change 'me' to 'we')

Our habits that turn into addictions!

Let’s face the harsh facts about our weaknesses. We all have dealt with addictions in our lives, whether it is alcohol, drugs, work, love, or even hatred. Life is about balance and moderation. Any addiction that we may be facing in our lives can and probably will dull our energetic spirits. If we let our addictions take over our lives, we will become weak and frail, letting our guards down for even an instant may be enough for us to fall hard. My weakness was alcohol, it threatened all that I believe in and the overindulgence of the drink felt like tentacles of an octopus grasping my every thought and breathe.




In today’s society addictions are of an epidemic proportion. The curses of these addictions are leading many down a rough path in life, without an anchor to secure our thoughts. We are readily influenced by our peers, media, and television. Our thoughts become confused and frustrated, while our bodies and spirits deteriorate. We teach the young by our examples, not by our words alone! We may have even introduced them to the drunkard or addictive ways by failing to check our own corrupt impulses, and our principles may have been carelessly disregarded. The bad effects of these addictions far outweigh the so-called benefits. An addiction will take over our thoughts throughout the day while working like a demon trying to claw your eyes out (wow that was a bit harsh) so that you won’t be able to see all the good that is surrounding you. These addictions are destroying our judgements, character, and lives.



We are given free-will to live our lives the way we choose. If we overindulge in drinking, we will become drunkards, if we eat everything that is in front of us we will be gluten’s who become so obese that we can’t tie our own shoes, and if we let habits turn into addictions we will be doomed to a life filled with poor judgments and derangement. I write these harsh words because I know that these addictions cause many of the problems we are facing in our own homes, towns, cities, and the world. Many murders, suicides, health issues, and divorces are the tragic consequences of these tendencies, don’t let them take over your thoughts. If you feel you have been heading toward an addiction from a bad habit that you may have, look inside of yourself and ask what it is that you are not facing about yourself and face it. Become stronger by fighting the demons from within. Always remember that as long as we do just a little better today, then we are heading toward a healthier and happier life, pass along that feeling to all you meet during your journey!

"A foot of snow... yea right!!

What a great day for some Advil! This was the best work out I had in a long while, now it's time for a nap. Happy January New England. Drive safe if you are traveling.

Turn that hate into Love!

It should be easier to see the good in people, we shouldn't have to search for it! Lately it seems that we hear more about all the hate, sadness, and controversies. I KNOW that there is more good in this world than there is bad. So, why is it that we are constantly focusing on the bad? Why is it that controversy sells more papers or gets more viewers on the television? We are good by nature and we will live happier lives when we remember this! Happiness is a journey not a destination, just as Love is a much more powerful tool than hate. Hate is an awful emotion fueled by fear and anyone who tries to feel powerful by scaring others is only going to be a sad and lonely soul. We need to start this wonderful year spreading the refreshing feelings of Love and hope. It starts from within and we need to carry these good feelings around with us through out our daily life, if we want to make this a better place to live and grow together.

Keep this little girl in our prayers!

I know that the readers of this blog are the nicest and most caring people in the world, so I ask you to please keep Phylicia in your prayers. She is a brave little girl who is fighting a brain tumor and our prayers will help her to make a full recovery! If you are on facebook, let her know you are praying for her by "liking" her get well page (click on the above banner and be directed to the page or go facebook and type in "Love & Prayers for Phylicia") Thank you! Mike Keller

Christmas is in the air!

One of my favorite times of the year is the Christmas season because we all seem to take a step back and think about others first. I often wonder why we don’t seem to hold on to that holiday feeling for the entire year? If we sincerely thought about others needs before our own all year round we would be much happier, healthier, and wiser! I am not talking about just the gifts that are bought, I am saying the hugs, the family gatherings, the laughter, the excitement, and the love that we feel toward one another. So often, we are so caught up in our own lives that we forget to slow down and ask a friend how he or she is doing? One of the biggest lessons I have learned this holiday season so far is that we all love to hear ourselves talk! I have been trying to do less talking and more listening (as I previously wrote about in previous blog entries) and I am truly amazed at how much better I am at listening than talking! Just by listening to others more intently is being a better friend. Listen to what others are saying and you will learn so much more about your own life as-well. The Christmas holiday season is a great time to practice doing this. I want to wish all of you a safe and happy holiday season, a season to smile and build memories of a lifetime! Merry Christmas! Mike Keller

Listen more and chatter less!

I have been doing a lot of writing lately about everyday situations and how I cope with some of the challenging moments. I learned at a really young age to not let others attitudes change our own unless it is for the better. I was talking with a person about a month ago whom told me that his life is so hard, he hates his job, he doesn’t get along with his wife, his kids don’t listen to him (no matter how loud he yells) and that he is about to lose his apartment because the rent was raised by 30 percent by his landlord! I felt his anger over all of the bad things that were happening to him and I suggested that he take a step back and look at his situation from another persons’ point of view. Sometimes when we are in the situation we are to close to it to see the obvious solutions, it is really that simple. When I screw up on an invoice or a quote at work my boss will come into my office and show me what I did, I will initially feel annoyed because I cannot believe I screwed up on something that I have done a million and one times before. His advice to me was so simple the other day, yet so true “when you are exhausted from a long day, stop what you are doing and just pick it up the following day!” When we try to do everything all at once we are bound to make mistakes, we are human. So, when I told this man to step back and look at what was really going on, he too saw what I was seeing. Instead of condemning people for what they do, let’s try to understand the reasons why they do what they do. If you have a kid who is being a terror why would that kid behave better when he is being screamed at? We need to step back and see what it is that this kid is looking for, I would bet you a large coffee that he only wants your attention! I try to always remember that most people would rather have bad attention over no attention at all, ignoring others wants and needs and putting our own first is a selfish act but, striving to help others first is being a loving person. You will get much more satisfaction in life when you put others needs in front of your own, try to see the other persons point of view from a distance and start listening more than you talk. Another bad habit that we all have at times is that we love to hear ourselves talk! I will tell you that I have been watching everything I say in the past few months and I listen more than I talk now and have solved many issues in my own life by doing so. If you listen to what your friends and family has to say, you will learn so much more about them. If you chatter nonstop you are only babbling and people won’t listen to you as much. Take the time to listen to everyone around you, be truly sincere in your listening and life gets much easier. Ask questions and seek the answers. I received an email from my friend we were speaking about earlier and he started to listen to his boss, his wife, and his kids more intently. He started to take a breather before he would get defensive and genuinely started to listen to what they were saying! Within the first two weeks of trying to break his habit of “talking over” everyone and “yelling” about what is going wrong in his life, he started to see the changes immediately. He told his wife and his boss that he was trying to “lose his angry temper” and is working on becoming a better husband, father, and co-worker. His wife immediately saw the difference in the kids. They actually looked forward to their father returning home from a hard day at work and spending a little time playing with them without the yelling. His boss noticed he was coming into work with a smile and his productivity has increased tenfold, so he gave him a much needed raise of 20% and is paying for night classes to get him to become a supervisor with a life changing career within the company. The raise will pay for the increase in the rent and be able to pay off debt within two years. His story can be common if we have the right attitude toward both ourselves and everyone who surrounds us. We create our situations in life and we can change those situations in a very short time if we put in a genuine effort to do the right thing for the right reasons. We just need to think of all the good that surrounds us and brush off the negative emotions that arise in situations in our lives, start thinking outside of the box and seeing our own situations from outside of that very same box as-well. Bottom line here is to listen more and chatter less!

FATHER FORGETS

This is a very inspirational story by W. Livingston Larned in the early 1920's for Peoples Home Journal(condensed as in "Readers Digest")Please take a moment and read this, it will help us all to be careful on how we react! Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside. There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor. At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!" Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father! Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped. You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs. Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years. And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed! It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!" I am afraid I have visualised you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much, yet given too little of myself. Promise me, as I teach you to have the manners of a man, that you will remind me how to have the loving spirit of a child.

CHANGE IS GOOD

Life is full of what we put out there. Whether it’s happiness, love, and satisfaction or emptiness, loneliness, and sadness, it is all up to us. It’s really pretty simple. It’s like the old saying “you made your bed, now you have to lie in it.” If you feel that you cannot trust people, you probably won’t. If you feel like the world is against you, it probably will be. If you feel like everything is good and will work out for the best, it will. It takes the tough times to know the good times. If we didn’t have the tough times, then we would naturally forget how valuable the good times are and take them for granted. When you crush your finger between the balls at duckpin bowling and get a huge, throbbing blister on your finger that hurts every time you even get close to touching it, you will realize how lucky you always were when it wasn’t hurt and how much you will appreciate it in a few days when it is healed. When we realize that we really shouldn’t try to change other people’s habits or ways of thinking, but only change our own, it will have great rewards in all our relationships. We can always lead by example and actions, but we should never try to lecture and criticize others, even if it is the easy way out. Lecturing is one of the most destructive patterns we can have, and it will always end up with the same end result: resentment. Also, whatever change we were hoping for will be lost. Eventually, the person you are lecturing will reach the point of not even wanting to change and will start to look for your flaws instead. The love and respect that was once there will start to turn into more and more arguments; fighting will become a nasty habit or even the rule rather than the exception to the rule. Changing our own habits is much more important than trying to change someone elses.

Daily Living...

We are bombarded by both good and bad energies on a daily basis. We try to stay strong and wear many masks and armor shielding to appear strong and brave in order to feel like a leader, instead of looking as if we are followers. We build walls around ourselves to feel safe and try to keep a distance from the evils that surround us. This may seem like a good idea but, we might not realize that we are also making it difficult for the good to get close too! Why are we so stubborn? Why is it that we accept and maybe even are expected to yell at someone who disagrees with our opinions or even the simple act of someone stepping on your shoe by accident? Why is it considered being weak if we are followers? These are all questions that I ask myself as I write in my daily journal and I try to seek the answers to in everyday life. The one fact that we all must face is that just as we are born we will all die and we will never know for certain when. Our bodies do not live for eternity and we are not invincible. Our bodies are a true work of art and we should love who we are because there is only one of us! We are born tiny little babies, nurtured to childhood, grow into adulthood, and hopefully will grow old. The fact that death is a fact of life poses an even more powerful question, why is it so difficult to discuss sickness and the final stages of life, which is death? I have seen the tallest walls ever built around us suddenly crumble down in the final moments of life with a simple touch of a hand, a hug, and by the simple act of showing love and forgiveness. As we go through life we love to carry extra baggage, hold grudges, and carry around anger in our own hearts which is only imprisoning us behind those thick walls of hate and anger. Forgiveness and Love will knock down those prison walls, so why wait until we are on our deathbeds to get the courage to do so. One of the best ways to enjoy life today is to realize that we are not promised to live until we are ninety or one hundred years old. We are not even promised the rest of today let alone tomorrow! Live today to your fullest, enjoy the changing colors that autumn season brings, smile and laugh, sing and hum, give a squeezing hug and don’t hold back! The most important thing is to never walk away from someone with a hurtful thought, only walk away when you know for sure that you just left that person feeling better than when you first walked up to him or her. Never forget that we all make mistakes and that we are only hurting ourselves when we walk around angry and ticked off at everyone around us!

SILENCE

In my last posting I wrote about all the noise that is around us, today I am writing about the noise that is inside our heads! We are constantly in a hurry to get somewhere, anywhere, it seems except, where we are! Why is that? Are we worried about missing something or are we feeling like we need to fill an empty spot in our life? Sometimes we are anxious to make a good impression, to have many friends, and to feel esteemed. Yes, these things are natural and are good to an extent but, to seek them too intently is dangerous. Too often we are judged by our failures and weaknesses and not by our efforts and ideals, this is why it is foolish to fix our hearts on the approval of what others think of us. By doing so we are causing ourselves a lot of noise in our own heads! Sometimes it is easier to just avoid the attention and to enjoy the quiet solitude and sometimes it is simply needed in order to stay healthy. I enjoy writing about issues in my life and how I try to become a better friend to everyone who surrounds me but, it has consequences too. I have been told on multiple occasions “Mike, be careful what you are putting on the site because it may hurt your career” or “Mike why would you write that you were a drunkard for many years? Don’t you know that you won’t ever live that down and people will only judge you?” I am grateful for the advice and listen carefully when it is given to me and I agree to some extent. The way I feel is, if you are always honest about what you are doing, where you have been, and where you are, then, you will never have to have that constant chatter in your head worrying about someone thinking suspect of you or not accepting you for whom you are. If they do, it won’t matter because you will be able to lay your head on your pillow at night knowing that you did the best that you could at the present time and will have the self-respect that is key to living a good life. A while back I was talking with an elderly woman who was very ill and she told me that the key to living a peaceful life is actually quite simple! It doesn’t matter how rich, powerful, attractive, or popular you are, just remember the plain truth about yourself and throw away all your foolish pride. So often people consider themselves to be better than their neighbors because of money, some talent they have, or circumstances in their lives but, forgetting that time changes everything! We all will hopefully grow old, lose some hair, maybe a few teeth, and start losing our muscular strengths. That is part of life, what really matters is that we do as much good in our daily lives while never becoming proud of our deeds! If you consider yourself better than others, you are certainly a fool! No matter how angry you may get, never let a hurtful word out of your mouth. If troubles come to you, do not let them disturb you because it will only fill your head with nonsense. Her words taught me to work on my dark thoughts, my dirty words spoken, and to be careful as to what I say while in a heated situation. Her words of wisdom from living ninety one healthy years of a good life made me realize I have A LOT to learn! Today is a good day to slow down our inner noise and to take notice in the goodness that surrounds us and a lot of that noise will diminish on its own!

LIFES BATTLES

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, watching some horrific stories that are on the news, and listening to stories about situations that surround us on a daily basis. I came to a realization that there is a continual struggle within us and around us! Is it a struggle between good and evil, a battle between Heaven and the dirty devil? Are we faced with these struggles so that we are introduced to the negativity in order to become so accustomed that we feel better about ourselves designed by our enemy? If that were the case then aren’t we actually joining the enemy with our foolish pride, blind selfishness, and ignorance! Maybe, just maybe, we are becoming stronger by being engaged in these horrible battles. I am learning that we need to look inside of ourselves to recognize the clever camouflage of the enemy that spews out all of the noise in order for us to be distracted by nonsense. Don’t get distracted, instead, hold that firm and constant Love for good, pass it along to everyone that you meet, and our strengths will only grow! Don’t let the distractions overcome us through our weaknesses or by worldly people with self-seeking motives. By keeping our motives in check with the right and good intentions and having self respect for ourselves, our eyes will focus on the victory of that dirty devil. For many years I sought the approval and praise from others. Up until a couple of years ago I had many goals that were money based. Don’t get me wrong, I work very hard and enjoy the fruits of my labor but, I don’t base my life on those riches because I finally realized that the good things in life are from having a good conscience; the praises from others fall short of that! I would much rather see a friend being honored for their efforts, while I go unnoticed and feel their joy. We must remember that we don’t fail in anything because things turn out differently from what we may desire. We shouldn’t judge things by our disappointments or dislikes. We must keep discouragements out of our hearts, no matter how hopeless things may appear and always accept the results knowing you did your best today! I over-drank alcohol for a long time and was discouraged about the years lost and the experiences I missed. But, then I realized that I overestimated the passed successes or comforts of life. My life today is much more content and rewarding because of the life experiences of yesterday. I believe that we must learn from our mistakes but, more importantly we must help each other to know that the battle between good and evil is being won and that there is much more good than bad in our lives!

SUICIDE

Every day we make choices in our life. Choices big or small, important or unimportant, we are faced with these choices every minute of our waking hours. When we choose one thing, we are usually giving up something else. We are usually quite good at making these daily choices because we learn from our past mistakes and hopefully are surrounded by people who love us unconditionally. We know that we all make mistakes and are not by any means perfect! Today will bring us a number of occasions to help each other or to hurt one another. It will be our choice to make. A simple word can help a person to gain the strength needed to get out of a difficult situation where hope is lost or can be the frightening discouragement that will be a deciding factor of suicide due to shame, fear, and lack of hope. Fear wears many faces in life. If we fear work, we are lazy, if we fear future disgrace it is shamefacedness, if we fear present disgrace it is shame. We have these emotions of fear because we may feel that we are unable to cope with our lives, we feel paralyzed or powerless to the outcome of the situations, and that fear may prevent us from acting for our own good. Where there is fear there will also be anger and we need to remember that anger is a mixed passion. Anger will always seek vengeance for some damage that has been done, it implies a comparison between the damages done and the vengeance sought. When a person feels these emotions and is living through a difficult situation where he or she feels hopeless and ashamed the split second decision might be to just end it all and leave it behind; suicide. Our fast paced days and nights cause so much stress and feelings of being overwhelmed by competition, peer pressures, being accepted, and achieving both our own goals and goals that are put on us by society and our loved ones. If I were to fail to live up to these goals, pressures, and everyday competitions I might have self doubts about whom I am or what I was doing, but if I were antagonized, bullied, or made fun of, it could push me over that edge to the thoughts of “who cares” or “screw it, they are just going to make fun of me!” There are times in everyone’s lives where we are challenged and feel weak, no matter how strong we may be! I know that in my own life I have had many difficult choices to make but I am blessed to surrounded by loving and caring people who love me for whom I am and not what I achieve. We need to try to be there for everyone in our lives, we need to visit more often, and to take the time to ask how they are doing, but, more importantly is to actually listen to the answers! We need to stop judging one another and leave that up to God! Every day there are hundreds of suicides, suicides that could have been avoided if someone took the time to look into that kids eye or hold that senior citizens hand, or given a simple hug! Why is it that we find it so hard to show love but, so easy to laugh when we see someone hit their funny bone or slip on the wet grass or a banana peel? I just read a scary statistic that one in four of every gay or lesbian teenager has thought about suicide at least a dozen times! One in eight elderly persons in an assisted living home has thought or even asked for help in assisting in their own suicides! There are many difficulties in our lives, many chances for failure, and many evils that may work against our own greater good. The key is to help one another to achieve, to feel loved, and to be accepted. We must stop the hatred and the bullying that create a feeling of despair. If you see someone who looks sad or lonely take a moment to cheer them up, even if you walk away thinking that you didn’t help; trust me. You did! Learn to accept each others differences and love that we are so unique because, this is what makes’ it such a great world to live in. When someone feels so depressed that they forget what a great world it is, show them with Love and a few kind words. Always know that your efforts can and will help if you let it! If you suspect someone is suicidal take the time to talk to him or her, seek out the proper help needed, and show that you truly care. If you are feeling depressed or suicidal take that first step to get help, know that you are unique and that no one else is exactly like you, and that you are loved! Suicide is never the answer, what may seem unbearable today will pass, even though it may not seem so today! There will be many challenges and obstacles in life but you are so much stronger than they are, you are worth every minute of effort and you are filled with the beauty and strength of God and always remember that you are here for a reason. It is not important to know what that reason is as none of us actually know the answer to that, but what is important is that you know that we are all connected through love and together we can become stronger and happier! Together we can get through the tough times and start to enjoy the good times again. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture the best time of your life. Try to feel and smell the air that was there at that time, listen to what is surrounding you. Now open your eyes and take a second look at what is surrounding you and give it a chance, notice the smells, the air, and the sounds. Just know that there is much more good than bad and you really are a great person who has so much love to offer!